Its hard to convince my personal internal debating that I am doing fine. I set myself up with internal self progressing goals that I unrealistically can never expect myself to complete. I pester myself again and again and drag myself down into the pits of hell. Procrastinating all the way, not getting anything I want to achieve done, because I have made myself hate it all, but on the outside acting as though I am still committed (which is most probably what should happen to me).
People try to encourage me, but they throw in negativity, which grows the internal dialogue even more. Anything people say will be grabbed by my internal self and twisted and turned until its a nightmare, I can’t sleep, I can’t think, I become like a bunny in the headlights of a car travelling fast towards me, I have plenty of time to get out of the way but I stay there, transfixed, unable to move.
Will try and do better tomorrow, Laters taters.